sarah, if your reading this, im sorry. im sorry that i ever put you through the stress and awkward frustration that i did. im sorry that i never realized it sooner, and im sorry i didnt understand until now.
im so close to just giving up. i need a better way to control anger, because its killing me. badly. and to be quite frank i have no idea how to handle it anymore. it seems like every little thing that the stupid people around me do makes me want to just punch someone. like fuck im so done. i only want to hurt people and i dont know why. so what the fuck am i supposed to do to dissipate such anger? im not happy being so angry, especially since it seems like the only thing that used to release all my anger isn't working anymore, then what do i do?
For 5000 years mankind had been fighting recorded wars, conquering their enemies and imposing their way of life upon the losers. For 5000 years man has killed man in an everlasting struggle for more possession and power, more land and more spoils. If peace is ever finally found, worldwide peace, it will be the biggest habit ever broken by mankind, and will most likely remain the biggest.
I FUCKING FOUND HIM.
ITS THE MAN THAT I HONESTLY CANNOT FRICKING RESIST. His name is James Caviezel and i knew id find him eventually, now if only i knew him before he got older, and that he was gay, cuz i can pretty much geuss that hes not. BUT STILL. LOOK AT THAT FACE! GAAHHH *falls over in a fit of lust* <3 href="http://wearemoviegeeks.com/wp-content/3294833272.jpg">
Underoath blows live. they're absolutely terrible. they sucked the harrowing dick of death, and it rained upon their performance. their singers voice cracked so many times, and their set was so highpitched and painful, i blame all of the distress to my ears, and my hearling loss so far to them.
On a much better note, close your eyes, the word alive, and of course A DAY TO REMEMBER were absolutely amazing live. especially adtr. They made that show worth while.
also a day to remembers new album is frickin awesome.
Three more weeks. three more weeks and im allowed to take my road test. I cannot wait for my license. That will make my life sooo much betttterrrrrrr.
Kay so cool story. basically on our plane ride down to north carolina, we had some awesome ass flight attendents. when they were doing the safety instruction thing, (the one that their supposed to show you how to buckle your seatbelt and all that) the dude and the woman in the very front were mimicking the voice on the speakers, that was explaining it all. the dude even had the gay flair about it! with the hand motions and the smile. omg it was so funny. And before all that had even started, the lady up at the front had found one of the pink tickets that you keep in order to reclaim your under carriage carry-on bags, and was asking whos it was, "Attention" she spoke sweetly in a nice calming voice. "I have a pink ticket to a black garment bag. a black garment bag? anyone? we have your pick ticket! any one? any one? going once? going twice? haha! Its mine." she said with an evil little smile. >:D
So halfway through the flight, a couple complaints from me that im hungry, the dude comes to us with the cart thing and asks if we want anything to drink/eat. i say no, just some of the cookies, and my mom adds "yeah, he's hungry." i watch as the dude reaches into his cart and pulls out an entire bag of the delicious ginger cookie things as shown below and pretty much drobs them on the little tray thing in front of me, and asks, "can you eat all those?" i didnt even know what to say, i just smiled back at him and thanked him, and he told us. "just dont let anyone see, itll be our little secret." and that pretty much made my vacation. i fricking love the guy for that. :D
so yeah, its been, months since i used this. I'd blame crew and school, and a lack of any social life to give me interesting things to blog about and my fantastic apathy ive been feeling, yeay...
One i realllly need a haircut. specially cuz its been since like august since ive had one and my hair looks like shit. i really need a life and i don't know, something to do. I like my life best when its under a busy-ish schedual (no for some reason i dont remember how to spell that). I started listening to mumford and sons, and the devil wears prada, and more a day to remember, and confide, and abandon all ships, and bayside, and you get the idea. I <3 music agaaaain, specially the harcore shit :D
i rediscovered my love for hummus. yeay. Chemistry is a bitch, math is way too easy, penis pumps excite me...the usual
and yes i do indeed hope to have moderately confused you.
good day sir!
p.s. omfg i can't believe i almost forgot, im going to see a day to remember monday, with underoath, the word alive, and some other band of which i do not remember. ohh well. I CANT FUCKING WAIT!!!
so i went to michigan over labor day to see my family, man that was fun. i cant wait to go back again. i also got to spend a vacation with my dad, alone, and without my brother and i realized that my brother tends to ruin vacations for me...lol
i also realized i really miss my dad, and i kinda wanna go out and live with him in michigan. but i also kinda dont wanna leave my mom and all my friends here in new york...>.<
like i was actually really sad to be leaving my dad so quickly, and i was depressed like the whole day once i got home...gah
