beginning...

Confusion, distrust, but still I feel happiness. I feel myself question everything, and anything, and all I'm left with is confusion, and distrust. Happiness seems to come from the minimal understanding I do have. All i can hope for is that I begin to understand, that my mind starts working again, and that I can actually get myself thinking again, because I think that's my problem to begin with. To give example to my random side, I'm listening to Three Days Grace right now, lol.

Anyway, today i spent nearly four hours at a breakfast thing at a friends house. two hours of that, i spent literally watching football, because i honestly couldn't think of anything better to do. -_- I absolutely hated it. I honestly think if I have to suffer through that again, I'm going to smack my head against the wall until all the horrible thoughts of killing the kid that thought football would be interesting to rest of the people there pour out and I decide whether i should actually punch him and take the remote, or go stand in the snow until i feel better. Of course i never thought to do either of these things at the time, so i sat there, watching the Jets versus the mother f**king Buccaneers.

On a different, (and hopefully happier note,) i miss mokkun...i wanna see her her soon...its been since halloween, but that was the best one yet, especially the danceee <3<3<3